OPINION: Concerts you could only dream about

Do you ever see a concert or festival for one specific band, wishing that the headliners were half as entertaining so you wouldn't be wasting your money? This week I have listed my ideal concerts for each genre. It's not exactly realistic as some of the bands aren't even around anymore, but one can dream can't they?

MY DREAM ROCK CONCERT: Rage Against The Machine/The Rolling Stones/ The Who

Opening Band: Rage Against The Machine
I had to think about this one for a while. My criteria for these selections is solely based on the artist's ability to perform, unpredictability and entertainment value. Rage successfully fulfills all of these requirements.
Rage has forever thrived on their ability to protest through performances causing massive controversy and mystery with every show. In 1993, the band was scheduled at the music festival Lollapalooza in Chicago. The band came onstage with nothing on them except tape over their mouths. Their four nude bodies stood in a row to display the letters PRMC. No sound was emitted from the speakers except feedback. Fans grew angry as the band refused to play in protest to the Parent's Music Resource Center, which is an organization who fights to censor music. After they walked off stage without playing a set, fans became outraged, causing the band to play a free show the next day for the sake of keeping their supporters.
When asked to perform on Saturday Night Live, the band was scheduled with guest Steve Forbes, a republican politician. Producers should have known this wouldn't have gone well when the band attempted to hang inverted American flags during their set. The band was scheduled to play two songs during the show, but it was immediately shortened to one.
Not only is Rage controversial, they have the introverted guitar techniques of Tom Morello. An honors graduate of Harvard University, politically outspoken Morello began playing guitar everyday for hours at time during his undergraduate years. He has been featured as one of Rolling Stone's, "Top 100 Guitarists of All Time."
Critically acclaimed, he is said to use the guitar in a unique and imaginative way; rather than just plucking the strings, his maneuvers include toggling between two pickups - one on and one off - while rubbing his hands on the strings over the pickups (his signature vinyl scratch effect used in "Bulls on Parade"). He also uses techniques such as rapidly hitting a pencil on the strings ("Cochise"), scraping an Allen wrench on the strings for a whole song ("People of the Sun") and even tapping the bridge with his audio jack cable ("Testify").
Rage is fearless, daring and probably put on one of the best shows of all time.


Mid: The Rolling Stones
Some may think this is generic, but I beg to differ. Look at the history of the Rolling Stones' tours. Their last tour in support of "A Bigger Bang" was dubbed one of the largest grossing tours of all time making over $558 million from 2005-2007. The 1970 documentary entitled, "Gimme Shelter" taped probably the most insane concert moment ever during their performance at Madison Square Garden. The Stones were ending the show with "Under My Thumb" as an 18-year-old man became involved in an altercation with some Hells Angels, (whom The Stones had hired for security) and drew a long-barreled revolver as he was stabbed to death by one of the Hells Angels. It is clear that Hunter drew his weapon before he was stabbed the first time. He was stabbed five times in total and kicked to death during the performance. The Rolling Stones had to interrupt their performance numerous times. Unaware that Hunter's stabbing was fatal, the Stones decided to continue to prevent a possible riot. Hell's Angel Sonny Barger claims he held a gun to Keith Richards and said, "You keep f****n' playing or you're dead."

Headliner: The Who
You may think I have an odd combination of bands under the rock genre, but the reason I labeled The Who as headliner is because I would want to see them with the original lineup of Keith Moon on the drums and John Entwistle on bass. Both of these fellow died due to an overdose on drugs or long lasting effects of them. Keith Moon famously passed out during a set on tour while a fan jumped up on stage to finish it for him. They were truly Rock 'N Roll I guess.
I think it goes without saying that every true music fan desires to see Pete Townshend smash his guitar on stage. Townshend currently suffers from partial deafness believed to be the result of extensive exposure to loud music through headphones and in concert, including The Who concert at Charlton Athletic Football Ground, London, on 31 May 1976 that was listed as the "Loudest Concert Ever" by the Guinness Book of Records, where the volume level was measured at 126 decibels 32 metres from the stage. It is also possible that Keith Moon's exploding drum set during The Who's appearance on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour contributed to Pete's hearing loss.
On a famous night in December 1973, eleven people were killed before a Who concert as people rushed to get a decent seat in the sold out, general seating concert arena. Many had been waiting for hours outside the doors when they heard a sound check on stage. Under false impressions that the concert had begun and successfully ran over the closed doors.

MY DREAM PUNK ROCK CONCERT: Green Day/The Ramones/The Clash

Opening: Green Day
This is the only band listed that I have actually seen live. Say what you will about their recent massive success, but it remains the best concert I have ever seen. They're a band that's best when playing a show. After the success of the album, "Dookie" the band signed on for Woodstock '94 which happened to be a weekend of rain and mud. During their set, some fans started throwing mud at the band while playing. As the stage filled up with piles of mud, Green Day stopped their set and started to throw it back into the crowd. The security guards did their best to monitor the crowd while dressed in mud-coated plastic ponchos. Lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong taunted the crowd while rolling around in the mud onstage as he grabbed his microphone and smashed it into the ground. A kid no older than 13 jumped onto the stage as Billie Joe erupted into a chorus of "We're Not Gonna Take It" from Twisted Sister. He then told the crowd, "Hey, everyone say shut the f*** up and we'll stop playing." The crowd did and he marched off the stage as fan swarmed after him leaving drummer Tre Cool with bruises all over his body.

Mid: The Ramones
The Ramone's first gig was at the legendary rock club CBGB. Their set lasted only 17 minutes and 20 fast songs full of energy. No one ever did something like that. The majority of the critics weren't ready for this revelation: some saw the iron side of it, "They played every song at 78 rpm", some complained about the shortness of the concert. Ramones reply to these accusations was: "You have what you paid for".
Johnny Ramone couldn't stand mistakes or stupidity. He had a diary of all concerts, so he knew exactly where they had been and how many people went to see them. He was very precise. Because of his personality and his sometimes dictatorial ways the other members called him führer. The live shows became more frenetic and Ramones spent most of the time travelling from one place to another. Being so close together created tensions that disappeared as soon as the four had a little privacy. In those days they performed five concerts a week doing 45 minutes each set.


Headliner: The Clash
This one is more specific. As The Clash grew in popularity, they began to play less shows instead of more. I would have liked to see them when played a series of 17 concerts at Bond's International Casino in New York City in May and June 1981 in support of their album, "Sandinista!" Strict interpretation of the fire laws meant that audiences were relatively small and resulting in a sense of intimacy between the band and the audience. Audience members clambered onto the stage to join in singalongs. New York musicians, including Pearl Harbor, assisted and overseen by Andy Dunkley, provided disc jockey services as the audience entered and gathered.
As always with The Clash, ticket prices were set relatively low. That's something you don't see today.